Humor: Worst of Fortunes for Friday January 16, 2015

There once was a maid from Mobile Whose cunt was made of blue...
There once was a maid from Mobile Whose cunt was made of blue steel. She only got thrills From pneumatic drills And an off-centered emery wheel.

The first and almost the only Book deserving of universal...
The first and almost the only Book deserving of universal attention is the Bible. -- John Quincy Adams All the good from the Saviour of the world is communicated through this Book; but for the Book we could not know right from wrong...

An old maid who had a pet ape Lived in fear of perpetual rape...
An old maid who had a pet ape Lived in fear of perpetual rape. His red, hairy phallus So filled her with malice That she sealed up her snatch with Scotch tape.

There once was a man from Nantucket, Whose cock was so long...
There once was a man from Nantucket, Whose cock was so long he could suck it. He said with a grin, As he wiped off his chin, If my ear were a cunt I could fuck it!

There was a young lady named Wylde Who kept herself quite...
There was a young lady named Wylde Who kept herself quite undefiled By thinking of Jesus; Contagious diseases; And the bother of having a child.