Humor: Worst of Fortunes for Saturday January 24, 2015

If you love something set it free. If it doesn't come back...
If you love something set it free. If it doesn't come back to you, hunt it down and kill it.

Massachusetts has the best politicians money can buy.
Massachusetts has the best politicians money can buy.

There once was a gangster named Brown - the sneakiest bastard...
There once was a gangster named Brown - the sneakiest bastard in town. He was caught by G-men Shooting his semen Where the cops would slip and fall down.

There once was a man from Madras, Whose balls were made out...
There once was a man from Madras, Whose balls were made out of brass. When they clanged together, They played "Stormy Weather", And lightning shot out of his ass.

There once was a man from Sydney Who could put it up to...
There once was a man from Sydney Who could put it up to her kidney. But the man from Quebec Put it up to her neck; He had a big one, now didn't he?

There was a lewd fellow named Duff Who loved to dive deep...
There was a lewd fellow named Duff Who loved to dive deep in the muff. With his head in a whirl He said, "Spread it, Pearl; I cunt get enough of the stuff!"