Humor: Worst of Fortunes for Tuesday January 27, 2015

There once was a man from Racine, Who invented a screwing...
There once was a man from Racine, Who invented a screwing machine. Both concave and convex, It could please either sex, But, oh, what a bastard to clean!

There once was a man named Lodge, who had seatbelts installed...
There once was a man named Lodge, who had seatbelts installed in his Dodge. When his date was strapped in, He committed a sin, without ever leaving the garage.

There once was a man named McSweeny Who spilled lots of gin...
There once was a man named McSweeny Who spilled lots of gin on his weeney So just to be couth He added vermouth And slipped his best girl a martini.

There once was a man named McSweeny Who spilled some raw gin...
There once was a man named McSweeny Who spilled some raw gin on his weeny. Just to be couth, He added vermouth, And slipped his girlfriend a martini.

There was a bluestocking in Florence Wrote anti-sex pamphlets...
There was a bluestocking in Florence Wrote anti-sex pamphlets in torrents, Till a Spanish grandee, Got her off with his knee, And she burned all her works with abhorrence.