Humor: Worst of Fortunes for Monday March 2, 2015

Scintillation is not always identification for an auric...
Scintillation is not always identification for an auric substance.

There once was a Swede in Minneapolis, Discovered his sex life...
There once was a Swede in Minneapolis, Discovered his sex life was hapless: The more he would screw The more he'd want to, And he feared he would soon be quite sapless.

There once was a man from Nantucket Who kept all his cash in...
There once was a man from Nantucket Who kept all his cash in a bucket. His daughter, named Nan, Ran away with a man, And as for the bucket, Nantucket. The pair of them went to Manhasset, (Nan and the man with the asset.)...

There once was a man from Racine, Who invented a screwing...
There once was a man from Racine, Who invented a screwing machine. Both concave and convex, It could please either sex, But, oh, what a bastard to clean!

There once was a man from Sydney Who could put it up to...
There once was a man from Sydney Who could put it up to her kidney. But the man from Quebec Put it up to her neck; He had a big one, now didn't he?

The rain it raineth on the just And also on the unjust...
The rain it raineth on the just And also on the unjust fella, But chiefly on the just, because The unjust steals the just's umbrella. -- Lord Bowen