Humor: Worst of Fortunes for Sunday November 20, 2016

There once was a man from Nantucket, Whose cock was so long...
There once was a man from Nantucket, Whose cock was so long he could suck it. He said with a grin, As he wiped off his chin, If my ear were a cunt I could fuck it!

A doctoral student from Buckingham Wrote his thesis on cunts...
A doctoral student from Buckingham Wrote his thesis on cunts and on fucking'em. But a dropout from paree Taught him Gamahuchee So he added a footnote on sucking 'em.

There once was a man from Nantucket Who kept all his cash in...
There once was a man from Nantucket Who kept all his cash in a bucket. His daughter, named Nan, Ran away with a man, And as for the bucket, Nantucket. The pair of them went to Manhasset, (Nan and the man with the asset.)...

There once was a pretty young Mrs. Whose tearful but short...
There once was a pretty young Mrs. Whose tearful but short story thrs. Her mind lost its grasp - Now she thinks she's an asp And just sits in the corner and hrs.

There was a gay countess of Bray, And you may think it odd when...
There was a gay countess of Bray, And you may think it odd when I say, That in spite of high station, Rank and education, She always spelled cunt with a 'k'.

There was a young man of Coblenz Whose ballocks were simply...
There was a young man of Coblenz Whose ballocks were simply immense: It took forty-four draymen, A priest and three laymen To carry them thither and thence.

There was an old man of Duddee Who came home as drunk as could...
There was an old man of Duddee Who came home as drunk as could be. He wound up the clock With the end of his cock, And buggered his wife with the key.

A Riverside, California, health ordinance states that...
A Riverside, California, health ordinance states that two persons may not kiss each other without first wiping their lips with carbolized rosewater.