Humor: Worst of Fortunes for Tuesday November 15, 2016

Oh, I could while away the hours, Smoking herbs...
Oh, I could while away the hours, Smoking herbs and flowers, Shooting up my veins, De-dum, De-dum, De-dum Tell you, I've been a-thinkin' I could drive a shiny Lincoln, If I dealt in good cocaine. -- To If I Only Had A Brain from...

A burlesque dancer, a pip Named Virginia, could peel in a zip; ...
A burlesque dancer, a pip Named Virginia, could peel in a zip; But she read science fiction And died of constriction Attempting a Moebius strip. -- Cyril Kornbluth, "The Unfortunate Topology"

There was a family named Doe, An ideal family to know...
There was a family named Doe, An ideal family to know. As father screwed mother, She said, "You're heavier than brother." And he said, "Yes, Sis told me so!"

There was a young lady from Wheeling Who claimed to lack sexual...
There was a young lady from Wheeling Who claimed to lack sexual feeling. But a cynic named Boris Just touched her clitoris And she had to be scraped off the ceiling.

When Yahweh your gods has settled you in the land you're about...
When Yahweh your gods has settled you in the land you're about to occupy, and driven out many infidels before you...you're to cut them down and exterminate them. You're to make no compromise with them or show them any mercy. [Deut. 7:1 (KJV)]