Humor: Worst of Fortunes for Tuesday November 8, 2016

A clerical student named Pryne Through pain sought to reach...
A clerical student named Pryne Through pain sought to reach the divine: He wore a hair shirt, Quite often ate dirt, And bathed every Friday in brine. -- Edward Gorey

A gift was delivered to Laura From a cousin who lived...
A gift was delivered to Laura From a cousin who lived in Gomorrah; Wrapped in tissue and crepe, It was peeled, like a grape, And emitted a pale, greenish aura. -- Edward Gorey

A worried young man from Stamboul Discovered red spots on...
A worried young man from Stamboul Discovered red spots on his tool. Said the doctor, a cynic, "Get out of my clinic Just wipe off the lipstick, you fool."

As for weirdness, the guy who's the tops Is a kinky old butcher...
As for weirdness, the guy who's the tops Is a kinky old butcher named Pops. Since he thinks it's effete To be beating his meat, What he's into is licking his chops.

There once was a chick named Longet, Who went out to Aspen...
There once was a chick named Longet, Who went out to Aspen to play. Along came a Spyder, Who sat down beside her And she blew the poor bastard away.

There once was a fellow named Howard, Whose tool it...
There once was a fellow named Howard, Whose tool it was nuclear-powered, While grabbing some ass, He reached critical mass, But think of the girl he deflowered!

There once was a man from Nantucket, Whose cock was so long...
There once was a man from Nantucket, Whose cock was so long he could suck it. He said with a grin, As he wiped off his chin, If my ear were a cunt I could fuck it!

There was a poor parson from Goring, Who made a small hole...
There was a poor parson from Goring, Who made a small hole in his flooring, Fur-lined it all round, Then laid on the ground, And declared it was cheaper than whoring.