Humor: Worst of Fortunes for Monday November 14, 2016

There once was a man named McSweeny Who spilled lots of gin...
There once was a man named McSweeny Who spilled lots of gin on his weeney So just to be couth He added vermouth And slipped his best girl a martini.

There was a gay countess of Bray, And you may think it odd when...
There was a gay countess of Bray, And you may think it odd when I say, That in spite of high station, Rank and education, She always spelled cunt with a 'k'.

There was a young lady named Duff With a lovely, luxuriant...
There was a young lady named Duff With a lovely, luxuriant muff. In his haste to get in her One eager beginner Lost both of his balls in the rough.

To bear offspring, Noah's snakes were unable. Their fertility...
To bear offspring, Noah's snakes were unable. Their fertility was somewhat unstable. He constructed a bed Out of tree trunks and said, "Even adders can multiply on a log table."