Humor: Worst of Fortunes for Saturday April 15, 2017

There once was a man named McSweeny Who spilled lots of gin...
There once was a man named McSweeny Who spilled lots of gin on his weeney So just to be couth He added vermouth And slipped his best girl a martini.

There once was a man from Nantucket Who kept all his cash in...
There once was a man from Nantucket Who kept all his cash in a bucket. His daughter, named Nan, Ran away with a man, And as for the bucket, Nantucket. The pair of them went to Manhasset, (Nan and the man with the asset.)...

There was an old abbess quite shocked To find nuns where...
There was an old abbess quite shocked To find nuns where the candles were locked. Said the abbess, "You nuns Should behave more like guns, And never go off till you're cocked."

Booker's Law: An ounce of application is worth a ton...
Booker's Law: An ounce of application is worth a ton of abstraction.

Boucher's Observation: He who blows his own horn always...
Boucher's Observation: He who blows his own horn always plays the music several octaves higher than originally written.