Humor: Worst of Fortunes for Thursday September 14, 2017

Alimony is a system by which, when two people make a mistake,...
Alimony is a system by which, when two people make a mistake, one of them continues to pay for it. -- Peggy Joyce

Beware of mathematicians and all those who make empty...
Beware of mathematicians and all those who make empty prophecies. The danger already exists that the mathematicians have made covenant with the devil to darken the spirit and to confine man in the bonds of hell. -- St. Augustine

There was a young bride of Antigua Whose husband said,...
There was a young bride of Antigua Whose husband said, "Dear me, how big you are!" Said the girl, "What damn'd rot! Why, you've only felt my twot, My legs and my arse and my figua!"

If your condition seems to be getting better, it's probably...
If your condition seems to be getting better, it's probably your doctor getting sick.