Humor: Worst of Fortunes for Tuesday January 8, 2019

A distinguished professor from Swarthmore Got along with a sexy...
A distinguished professor from Swarthmore Got along with a sexy young sophomore. As quick as a glance He stripped off his pants, But he found that the sophomore'd got off more.

There was a young gaucho named Bruno Who said, "There...
There was a young gaucho named Bruno Who said, "There is one thing I do know, Women are fine And children devine, But the llama is numero uno."

There was a young man from Dundee Who buggered an ape in...
There was a young man from Dundee Who buggered an ape in a tree. The results were quite horrid: All ass and no forehead, Three balls and a purple goatee.

There was a young man from Racine Who invented a fucking...
There was a young man from Racine Who invented a fucking machine. Concave or convex, It served either sex, But oh what a bitch to keep clean.

There's a charming young lady named Beaulieu Who's often been...
There's a charming young lady named Beaulieu Who's often been screwed by yours truly, But now--it's appallin'-- My balls always fall in! I fear that I've fucked her unduly.