Humor: Worst of Fortunes for Saturday September 14, 2019

There once was a horny old bitch With a motorized self-frigger...
There once was a horny old bitch With a motorized self-frigger which She would use with delight All day long and all night - Twenty bucks: Abercrombie & Fitch.

There was a young lady from Bright, Whose speed was much faster...
There was a young lady from Bright, Whose speed was much faster than light. She went out one day In a relative way And returned on the previous night.

There was a young lady from Hyde Who ate a green apple...
There was a young lady from Hyde Who ate a green apple and died. While her lover lamented The apple fermented And made cider inside her inside.

There was a young man of Cape Horn Who wished he had never been...
There was a young man of Cape Horn Who wished he had never been born, And he wouldn't have been If his father had seen That the end of the rubber was torn.