Humor: Worst of Fortunes for Wednesday September 11, 2019

There once was a man from Madras, Whose balls were made out...
There once was a man from Madras, Whose balls were made out of brass. When they clanged together, They played "Stormy Weather", And lightning shot out of his ass.

There once was a man named Lodge, who had seatbelts installed...
There once was a man named Lodge, who had seatbelts installed in his Dodge. When his date was strapped in, He committed a sin, without ever leaving the garage.

There was a bluestocking in Florence Wrote anti-sex pamphlets...
There was a bluestocking in Florence Wrote anti-sex pamphlets in torrents, Till a Spanish grandee, Got her off with his knee, And she burned all her works with abhorrence.

There was a young girl from Decatur Who was raped by...
There was a young girl from Decatur Who was raped by an alligator. But no one quite knew How she relished that screw, For after he screwed her, he ate her.