Humor: Worst of Fortunes for Thursday September 1, 2022

An agreeable girl named Miss Doves Likes to jack off the young...
An agreeable girl named Miss Doves Likes to jack off the young men she loves. She will use her bare fist If the fellows insist But she really prefers to wear gloves.

From deep in the crypt at St. Giles Came a bellow that echoed...
From deep in the crypt at St. Giles Came a bellow that echoed for miles. Said the rector, "My gracious, Has Father Ignatius Forgotten the Bishop has piles!?"

There once was a member of Mensa Who was a most excellent...
There once was a member of Mensa Who was a most excellent fencer. The sword that he used Was his -- (line is refused, And has now been removed by the censor).

There once was an old man from Esser, Who's knowledge grew...
There once was an old man from Esser, Who's knowledge grew lesser and lesser. It at last grew so small, He knew nothing at all, And now he's a College Professor.

There was a young girl named O'Clare Whose body was covered...
There was a young girl named O'Clare Whose body was covered with hair. It was really quite fun To probe with one's gun, For her quimmy might be anywhere.

There was a young girl named O'Malley Who wanted to dance...
There was a young girl named O'Malley Who wanted to dance in the ballet. She got roars of applause When she kicked off her drawers, But her hair and her bush didn't tally.

There was a young girl named Sapphire Who succumbed to...
There was a young girl named Sapphire Who succumbed to her lover's desire. She said, "It's a sin, But now that it's in, Could you shove it a few inches higher?"

There was a young man of Natal Who was fucking a Hottentot...
There was a young man of Natal Who was fucking a Hottentot gal. Said she, "You're a sluggard!" Said he, "You be buggered! I like to fuck slow and I shall."