Humor: Worst of Fortunes for Thursday September 22, 2022

There once was a couple named Kelly Who walked around...
There once was a couple named Kelly Who walked around belly-to-belly. It seems in their haste, They used Carter's paste Instead of petroleum jelly.

There once was a man from Madras, Whose balls were made out...
There once was a man from Madras, Whose balls were made out of brass. When they clanged together, They played "Stormy Weather", And lightning shot out of his ass.

There once was a woman from Arden Who sucked off a man in...
There once was a woman from Arden Who sucked off a man in a garden. He said, "My dear Flo, Where does all that stuff go?" And she said, "[Swallow hard] I beg pardon?"

There was a young lady of Rhyll In an omnibus was taken ill, ...
There was a young lady of Rhyll In an omnibus was taken ill, So she called the conductor, Who got in and fucked her, Which did more good than a pill.

There was a young lady of Wheeling Who professed to lack sexual...
There was a young lady of Wheeling Who professed to lack sexual feeling. But a cynic named Boris Just touched her clitoris, And she had to be scraped off the ceiling.

Q: Why did Menachem Begin invade Lebanon? A:...
Q: Why did Menachem Begin invade Lebanon? A: To impress Jodie Foster.