Humor: Best of Fortunes for Wednesday January 3, 2007

... And malt does more than Milton can To justify God's ways...
... And malt does more than Milton can To justify God's ways to man -- A. E. Housman

A is for Amy who fell down the stairs, B is for Basil assaulted...
A is for Amy who fell down the stairs, B is for Basil assaulted by bears. C is for Clair who wasted away, D is for Desmond thrown out of the sleigh. E is for Ernest who choked on a peach, F is for Fanny, sucked dry by a leech. G is for George, smothered...

The bureaucracy is expanding to meet the needs of...
The bureaucracy is expanding to meet the needs of an expanding bureaucracy.

I do desire we may be better strangers. --...
I do desire we may be better strangers. -- William Shakespeare, "As You Like It"

Lions in the street and roaming, Dogs in heat, rabid,...
Lions in the street and roaming, Dogs in heat, rabid, foaming, A beast caged in the heart of the city. The body of his mother lying in the summer ground, He fled the town. Went down south across the border, Left the chaos and disorder Back there, over...

Matter cannot be created or destroyed, nor can it be returned...
Matter cannot be created or destroyed, nor can it be returned without a receipt.

There's too much beauty upon this earth for lonely men...
There's too much beauty upon this earth for lonely men to bear. -- Richard Le Gallienne

There was a young girl named Heather Whose twitcher was made...
There was a young girl named Heather Whose twitcher was made out of leather. She made a queer noise, Which attracted the boys, By flapping the edges together.

There was a young lady of Gaza Who shaved her cunt bare with...
There was a young lady of Gaza Who shaved her cunt bare with a razor. The crabs, in a lump, Made tracks to her rump - This passing parade did amaze her.

A closed mouth gathers no foot.
A closed mouth gathers no foot.

Thousands of days of civilians ... have produced a ... feeling...
Thousands of days of civilians ... have produced a ... feeling for the aesthetic modules --

Peers's Law: The solution to a problem changes...
Peers's Law: The solution to a problem changes the nature of the problem.

Breathe deep the gathering gloom. Watch lights fade from every...
Breathe deep the gathering gloom. Watch lights fade from every room. Bed-sitter people look back and lament; another day's useless energies spent. Impassioned lovers wrestle as one. Lonely man cries for love and has none. New mother picks up and suckles...

What, still alive at twenty-two, A clean upstanding chap like...
What, still alive at twenty-two, A clean upstanding chap like you? Sure, if your throat 'tis hard to slit, Slit your girl's, and swing for it. Like enough, you won't be glad, When they come to hang you, lad: But bacon's not the only thing That's cured...