Freebsd Fortunes 4

If parents would only realize how they bore their children.
                -- G.B. Shaw

If people are good only because they fear punishment, and hope for reward,
then we are a sorry lot indeed.
                -- Albert Einstein

If people concentrated on the really important things in life,
there'd be a shortage of fishing poles.
                -- Doug Larson

If people drank ink instead of Schlitz, they'd be better off.
                -- Edward E. Hippensteel

[What brand of ink?  Ed.]

If people have to choose between freedom and sandwiches, they
will take sandwiches.
                -- Lord Boyd-orr

Eats first, morals after.
                -- Bertolt Brecht, "The Threepenny Opera"

If people say that here and there someone has been taken away and maltreated,
I can only reply: You can't make an omelette without breaking eggs.
                -- Hermann Goering

If people see that you mean them no harm,
they'll never hurt you, nine times out of ten!

If practice makes perfect, and nobody's perfect, why practice?

If pregnancy were a book they would cut the last two chapters.
                -- Nora Ephron, "Heartburn"

If pro is the opposite of con, what is the opposite of progress?