Freebsd Fortunes 4

If people have to choose between freedom and sandwiches, they
will take sandwiches.
                -- Lord Boyd-orr

Eats first, morals after.
                -- Bertolt Brecht, "The Threepenny Opera"

If people say that here and there someone has been taken away and maltreated,
I can only reply: You can't make an omelette without breaking eggs.
                -- Hermann Goering

If people see that you mean them no harm,
they'll never hurt you, nine times out of ten!

If practice makes perfect, and nobody's perfect, why practice?

If pregnancy were a book they would cut the last two chapters.
                -- Nora Ephron, "Heartburn"

If pro is the opposite of con, what is the opposite of progress?

If puns were deli meat, this would be the wurst.

If rabbits feet are so lucky, what happened to the rabbit?

If reporters don't know that truth is plural, they ought to be lawyers.
                -- Tom Wicker

If researchers wrote nursery rhymes...

Little Miss Muffet sat on her gluteal region,
Eating components of soured milk.
On at least one occasion,
        along came an arachnid and sat down beside her,
Or at least in her vicinity,
And caused her to feel an overwhelming, but not paralyzing, fear,
Which motivated the patient to leave the area rather quickly.
                -- Ann Melugin Williams