|Freebsd Fortunes 4: 1011 of 2327|
If pro is the opposite of con, what is the opposite of progress?
|Freebsd Fortunes 4: 1012 of 2327|
If puns were deli meat, this would be the wurst.
|Freebsd Fortunes 4: 1013 of 2327|
If rabbits feet are so lucky, what happened to the rabbit?
|Freebsd Fortunes 4: 1014 of 2327|
If reporters don't know that truth is plural, they ought to be lawyers.
-- Tom Wicker
|Freebsd Fortunes 4: 1015 of 2327|
If researchers wrote nursery rhymes...
Little Miss Muffet sat on her gluteal region,
Eating components of soured milk.
On at least one occasion,
along came an arachnid and sat down beside her,
Or at least in her vicinity,
And caused her to feel an overwhelming, but not paralyzing, fear,
Which motivated the patient to leave the area rather quickly.
-- Ann Melugin Williams
|Freebsd Fortunes 4: 1016 of 2327|
If Ricky Schroder and Gary Coleman had a fight on television with
pool cues, who would win?
1) Ricky Schroder
2) Gary Coleman
3) The television viewing public
-- David Letterman
|Freebsd Fortunes 4: 1017 of 2327|
If sarcasm were posted on Usenet, would anybody notice?
-- James Nicoll
|Freebsd Fortunes 4: 1018 of 2327|
If scientific reasoning were limited to the logical processes of
arithmetic, we should not get very far in our understanding of the physical
world. One might as well attempt to grasp the game of poker entirely by
the use of the mathematics of probability.
-- Vannevar Bush
|Freebsd Fortunes 4: 1019 of 2327|
If sex is such a natural phenomenon, how come there are so many
books on how to?
-- Bette Midler
|Freebsd Fortunes 4: 1020 of 2327|
If she had not been cupric in her ions,
Her shape ovoidal,
Their romance might have flourished.
But he built tetrahedral in his shape,
His ions ferric,
Love could not help but die,
Uncatylised, inert, and undernourished.