Freebsd Fortunes 4

If the weather is extremely bad, church attendance will be down.
If the weather is extremely good, church attendance will be down.
If the bulletin covers are in short supply, however,
church attendance will exceed all expectations.
                -- Reverend Chichester

If there are epigrams, there must be meta-epigrams.

If there is a possibility of several things going wrong,
the one that will cause the most damage will be the one to go wrong.

If you perceive that there are four possible ways in which a procedure
can go wrong, and circumvent these, then a fifth way will promptly develop.

If there is a sin against life, it consists perhaps not so much in despairing
of life as in hoping for another life and in eluding the implacable grandeur
of this life.
                -- Albert Camus

If there is a wrong way to do something, then someone will do it.
                -- Edward A. Murphy Jr.

If there is any realistic deterrent to marriage, it's the fact that you
can't afford divorce.
                -- Jack Nicholson

If there is no God, who pops up the next Kleenex?
                -- Art Hoppe

If there is no wind, row.
                -- Polish proverb

If there really was a Jewish conspiracy to run the world, my rabbi would
have let me in on it by now.  I contribute enough to the shule.
                -- Saul Goodman

If there was in justice in the world, "trust" would be a four-letter word.