Freebsd Fortunes 4

If you want to make God laugh, tell him about your plans.
                -- Woody Allen

If you want to put yourself on the map, publish your own map.

If you want to read about love and marriage you've got to buy two separate
books.
                -- Alan King

If you want to see card tricks, you have to expect to take cards.
                -- Harry Blackstone

If you want to understand your government, don't begin by reading the
Constitution.  It conveys precious little of the flavor of today's statecraft.
Instead, read selected portions of the Washington telephone directory
containing listings for all the organizations with titles beginning with
the word "National".
                -- George Will

If you want your spouse to listen and pay strict attention to every word
you say, talk in your sleep.

If you wants to get elected president, you'se got to think up some
memoraboble homily so's school kids can be pestered into memorizin'
it, even if they don't know what it means.
                -- Walt Kelly

If you waste your time cooking, you'll miss the next meal.

If you will practice being fictional for a while, you will understand that
fictional characters are sometimes more real than people with bodies and
heartbeats.

If you wish to be happy for one hour, get drunk.
If you wish to be happy for three days, get married.
If you wish to be happy for a month, kill your pig and eat it.
If you wish to be happy forever, learn to fish.
                -- Chinese Proverb