Freebsd Fortunes 4

I'm an evolutionist; I refuse to believe
that I could have been created by man.

"I'm ANN LANDERS!!  I can SHOPLIFT!!"
                -- Zippy the Pinhead

I'm dying beyond my means.
                -- Oscar Wilde, his last words, while sipping champagne

"I'm dying," he croaked.
"My experiment was a success," the chemist retorted .
"You can't really train a beagle," he dogmatized.
"That's no beagle, it's a mongrel," she muttered.
"The fire is going out," he bellowed.
"Bad marksmanship," the hunter groused.
"You ought to see a psychiatrist," he reminded me.
"You snake," she rattled.
"Someone's at the door," she chimed.
"Company's coming," she guessed.
"Dawn came too soon," she mourned.
"I think I'll end it all," Sue sighed.
"I ordered chocolate, not vanilla," I screamed.
"Your embroidery is sloppy," she needled cruelly.
"Where did you get this meat?" he bridled hoarsely.
                -- Gyles Brandreth, "The Joy of Lex"

I'm fed up to the ears with old men dreaming up wars for young men to die in.
                -- George McGovern

I'm for bringing back the birch, but only for consenting adults.
                -- Gore Vidal

I'm for peace -- I've yet to see a man wake up in the morning and say "I've
just had a good war.
                -- Mae West

I'm free -- and freedom tastes of reality.

I'm glad I was not born before tea.
                -- Sidney Smith (1771-1845)

I'm glad that I'm an American,
I'm glad that I am free,
But I wish I were a little doggy,
And McGovern were a tree.