Freebsd Fortunes 4

H.L. Mencken suffers from the hallucination that he is H.L.
Mencken -- there is no cure for a disease of that magnitude.
                -- Maxwell Bodenheim

H.L. Mencken's Law:
        Those who can -- do.
        Those who can't -- teach.

Martin's Extension:
        Those who cannot teach -- administrate.

                [No, those who can't teach, teach here.  Ed.]

Hlade's Law:
        If you have a difficult task, give it to a lazy person --
        they will find an easier way to do it.

Hoaars-Faisse Gallery presents:
An exhibit of works by the artist known only as Pretzel.

The exhibit includes several large conceptual works using non-traditional
media and found objects including old sofa-beds, used mace canisters,
discarded sanitary napkins and parts of freeways.  The artist explores
our dehumanization due to high technology and unresponsive governmental
structures in a post-industrial world.  She/he (the artist prefers to
remain without gender) strives to create dialogue between viewer and
creator, to aid us in our quest to experience contemporary life with its
inner-city tensions, homelessness, global warming and gender and
class-based stress.  The works are arranged to lead us to the essence of
the argument: that the alienation of the person/machine boundary has
sapped the strength of our voices and must be destroyed for society to
exist in a more fundamental sense.

Hoare's Law of Large Problems:
        Inside every large problem is a small
        problem struggling to get out.

Hodie natus est radici frater.

Hoffer's Discovery:
        The grand act of a dying institution is to issue a newly
        revised, enlarged edition of the policies and procedures manual.

Hofstadter's Law:
        It always takes longer than you expect, even when you take
        Hofstadter's Law into account.

HOGAN'S HEROES DRINKING GAME --
        Take a shot every time:

-- Sergeant Schultz says, "I knoooooowww nooooothing!"
-- General Burkhalter or Major Hochstetter intimidate/insult Colonel Klink.
-- Colonel Klink falls for Colonel Hogan's flattery.
-- One of the prisoners sneaks out of camp (one shot for each prisoner to go).
-- Colonel Klink snaps to attention after answering the phone (two shots
        if it's one of our heroes on the other end).
-- One of the Germans is threatened with being sent to the Russian front.
-- Corporal Newkirk calls up a German in his phoney German accent, and
        tricks him (two shots if it's Colonel Klink).
-- Hogan has a romantic interlude with a beautiful girl from the underground.
-- Colonel Klink relates how he's never had an escape from Stalag 13.
-- Sergeant Schultz gives up a secret (two shots if he's bribed with food).
-- The prisoners listen to the Germans' conversation by a hidden transmitter.
-- Sergeant Schultz "captures" one of the prisoners after an escape.
-- Lebeau pronounces "colonel" as "cuh-loh-`nell".
-- Carter builds some kind of device (two shots if it's not explosive).
-- Lebeau wears his apron.
-- Hogan says "We've got no choice" when the someone claims that the
        plan is impossible.
-- The prisoners capture an important German, and sneak him out the tunnel.

Hollerith, v:
        What thou doest when thy phone is on the fritzeth.