Freebsd Fortunes 4

It was one of those perfect summer days -- the sun was shining, a breeze
was blowing, the birds were singing, and the lawn mower was broken ...
                --- James Dent

It was one time too many
One word too few
It was all too much for me and you
There was one way to go
Nothing more we could do
One time too many
One word too few
                -- Meredith Tanner

It was Penguin lust... at its ugliest.

It was pity stayed his hand.  "Pity I don't have any more bullets,"
thought Frito.
                -- Harvard Lampoon, "Bored of the Rings"

It was pleasant to me to get a letter from you the other day.  Perhaps
I should have found it pleasanter if I had been able to decipher it.  I
don't think that I mastered anything beyond the date (which I knew) and
the signature (which I guessed at).  There's a singular and a perpetual
charm in a letter of yours; it never grows old, it never loses its
novelty.  Other letters are read and thrown away and forgotten, but
yours are kept forever -- unread.  One of them will last a reasonable
man a lifetime.
                -- Thomas Aldrich

It was raining heavily, and the motorist had car trouble on a lonely country
road.  Anxious to find shelter for the night, he walked over to a farmhouse
and knocked on the front door.  No one responded.  He could feel the water
from the roof running down the back of his neck as he stood on the stoop.
The next time he knocked louder, but still no answer.  By now he was soaked
to the skin.  Desperately he pounded on the door.  At last the head of a
man appeared out of an upstairs window.
        "What do you want?" he asked gruffly.
        "My car broke down," said the traveler, "and I want to know if you
would let me stay here for the night."
        "Sure," replied the man. "If you want to stay there all night, it's
okay with me."

It was the Law of the Sea, they said.  Civilization ends at the waterline.
Beyond that, we all enter the food chain, and not always right at the top.
                -- Hunter S. Thompson

It was wonderful to find America, but it
would have been more wonderful to miss it.
                -- Mark Twain

It wasn't exactly a divorce -- I was traded.
                -- Tim Conway

It wasn't that she had a rose in her teeth, exactly.
It was more like the rose and the teeth were in the same glass.