|Freebsd Fortunes 4: 1885 of 2327|
It's the same old story; boy meets beer, boy drinks beer...
boy gets another beer.
|Freebsd Fortunes 4: 1886 of 2327|
"It's today!" said Piglet.
"My favorite day," said Pooh.
|Freebsd Fortunes 4: 1887 of 2327|
It's useless to try to hold some people to anything they say while they're
madly in love, drunk, or running for office.
|Freebsd Fortunes 4: 1888 of 2327|
It's very glamorous to raise millions of dollars, until it's time for the
venture capitalist to suck your eyeballs out.
-- Peter Kennedy, chairman of Kraft & Kennedy.
|Freebsd Fortunes 4: 1889 of 2327|
It's very inconvenient to be mortal -- you never
know when everything may suddenly stop happening.
|Freebsd Fortunes 4: 1890 of 2327|
IV. The time required for an object to fall twenty stories is greater than or
equal to the time it takes for whoever knocked it off the ledge to
spiral down twenty flights to attempt to capture it unbroken.
Such an object is inevitably priceless, the attempt to capture it
V. All principles of gravity are negated by fear.
Psychic forces are sufficient in most bodies for a shock to propel
them directly away from the earth's surface. A spooky noise or an
adversary's signature sound will induce motion upward, usually to
the cradle of a chandelier, a treetop, or the crest of a flagpole.
The feet of a character who is running or the wheels of a speeding
auto need never touch the ground, especially when in flight.
VI. As speed increases, objects can be in several places at once.
This is particularly true of tooth-and-claw fights, in which a
character's head may be glimpsed emerging from the cloud of
altercation at several places simultaneously. This effect is common
as well among bodies that are spinning or being throttled. A "wacky"
character has the option of self-replication only at manic high
speeds and may ricochet off walls to achieve the velocity required.
-- Esquire, "O'Donnell's Laws of Cartoon Motion", June 1980
|Freebsd Fortunes 4: 1891 of 2327|
I've already told you more than I know.
|Freebsd Fortunes 4: 1892 of 2327|
I've always considered statesmen to be more expendable than soldiers.
|Freebsd Fortunes 4: 1893 of 2327|
I've always felt sorry for people that don't drink -- remember,
when they wake up, that's as good as they're gonna feel all day!
|Freebsd Fortunes 4: 1894 of 2327|
I've always made it a solemn practice to never
drink anything stronger than tequila before breakfast.
-- R. Nesson