Freebsd Fortunes 4

I've built a better model than the one at Data General
For data bases vegetable, animal, and mineral
My OS handles CPUs with multiplexed duality;
My PL/1 compiler shows impressive functionality.
My storage system's better than magnetic core polarity,
You never have to bother checking out a bit for parity;
There isn't any reason to install non-static floor matting;
My disk drive has capacity for variable formatting.

I feel compelled to mention what I know to be a gloating point:
There's lots of room in memory for variables floating-point,
Which shows for input vegetable, animal, and mineral
I've built a better model than the one at Data General.

                -- Steve Levine, "A Computer Song", (To the tune of
                   "Modern Major General")

I've finally learned what "upward compatible" means.
It means we get to keep all our old mistakes.
                -- Dennie van Tassel

I've given up reading books; I find it takes my mind off myself.

I've got a very bad feeling about this.
                -- Han Solo

I've got all the money I'll ever need if I die by 4 o'clock.
                -- Henny Youngman

I've got some powdered water, but I don't know what to add.
                -- Stephen Wright

I've had a perfectly wonderful evening.  But this wasn't it.
                -- Groucho Marx

I've had one child.  My husband wants to have another.
I'd like to watch him have another.

I've looked at the listing, and it's right!
                -- Joel Halpern.

I've never been canoeing before, but I imagine there must
be just a few simple heuristics you have to remember...

Yes, don't fall out, and don't hit rocks.