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I always had a repulsive need to be something more than human.
-- David Bowie
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I always pass on good advice. It is the only thing to do with it.
It is never any good to oneself.
-- Oscar Wilde, "An Ideal Husband"
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I always say beauty is only sin deep.
-- Saki, "Reginald's Choir Treat"
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I always turn to the sports pages first, which record people's
accomplishments. The front page has nothing but man's failures.
-- Chief Justice Earl Warren
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I always wake up at the crack of ice.
-- Joe E. Lewis
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I always will remember -- I was in no mood to trifle;
'Twas a year ago November -- I got down my trusty rifle
I went out to shoot some deer And went out to stalk my prey --
On a morning bright and clear. What a haul I made that day!
I went and shot the maximum I tied them to my bumper and
The game laws would allow: I drove them home somehow,
Two game wardens, seven hunters, Two game wardens, seven hunters,
And a cow. And a cow.
The Law was very firm, it People ask me how I do it
Took away my permit-- And I say, "There's nothin' to it!
The worst punishment I ever endured. You just stand there lookin' cute,
It turns out there was a reason: And when something moves, you shoot."
Cows were out of season, and And there's ten stuffed heads
One of the hunters wasn't insured. In my trophy room right now:
Two game wardens, seven hunters,
And a pure-bred gurnsey cow.
-- Tom Lehrer, "The Hunting Song"
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I am a bookaholic. If you are a decent
person, you will not sell me another book.
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I am a computer.
I am dumber than any human and smarter than any administrator.
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I am a conscientious man, when I throw
rocks at seabirds I leave no tern unstoned.
-- Ogden Nash, "Everybody's Mind to Me a Kingdom Is"
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I am a deeply superficial person.
-- Andy Warhol