Freebsd Fortunes 4

I hate it when my foot falls asleep during the day cause that means
it's going to be up all night.
                -- Steven Wright

I hate mankind, for I think myself one of the best of them,
and I know how bad I am.
                -- Samuel Johnson

I hate quotations.
                -- Ralph Waldo Emerson

I hate small towns because once you've seen the cannon in the park
there's nothing else to do.
                -- Lenny Bruce

I hate trolls.  Maybe I could metamorph it into something else -- like a
ravenous, two-headed, fire-breathing dragon.
                -- Willow

I have a box of telephone rings under my bed.  Whenever I get lonely, I
open it up a little bit, and I get a phone call.  One day I dropped the
box all over the floor.  The phone wouldn't stop ringing.  I had to get
it disconnected.  So I got a new phone.  I didn't have much money, so I
had to get an irregular.  It doesn't have a five.  I ran into a friend
of mine on the street the other day.  He said why don't you give me a
call.  I told him I can't call everybody I want to anymore, my phone
doesn't have a five.  He asked how long had it been that way.  I said I
didn't know -- my calendar doesn't have any sevens.
                -- S. Wright

I have a dog; I named him Stay.  So when I'd go to call him, I'd say, "Here,
Stay, here..." but he got wise to that.  Now when I call him he ignores me
and just keeps on typing.
                -- Stephen Wright

I have a dream.  I have a dream that one day, on the red hills of Georgia,
the sons of former slaves and the sons of former slaveowners will be able to
sit down together at the table of brotherhood.
                -- Martin Luther King, Jr.

I have a friend whose a billionaire.  He invented Cliff's notes.  When
I asked him how he got such a great idea he said, "Well first I...
I just... to make a long story short..."
                -- Stephen Wright

I have a hard time being attracted to anyone who can beat me up.
                -- John McGrath, Atlanta sportswriter, on women weightlifters.