Freebsd Fortunes 4

I have a friend whose a billionaire.  He invented Cliff's notes.  When
I asked him how he got such a great idea he said, "Well first I...
I just... to make a long story short..."
                -- Stephen Wright

I have a hard time being attracted to anyone who can beat me up.
                -- John McGrath, Atlanta sportswriter, on women weightlifters.

I have a hobby.  I have the world's largest collection of sea shells.
I keep it scattered on beaches all over the world.  Maybe you've seen
some of it.
                -- Steven Wright

I have a little shadow that goes in and out with me,
And what can be the use of him is more than I can see.
He is very, very like me from the heels up to the head;
And I see him jump before me, when I jump into my bed.

The funniest thing about him is the way he likes to grow--
Not at all like proper children, which is always very slow;
For he sometimes shoots up taller, like an india-rubber ball,
And he sometimes gets so little that there's none of him at all.
                -- R.L. Stevenson

I have a map of the United States.  It's actual size.
I spent last summer folding it.
People ask me where I live, and I say, "E6".
                -- Steven Wright

I have a rock garden.  Last week three of them died.
                -- Richard Diran

I have a simple philosophy:

        Fill what's empty.
        Empty what's full.
        Scratch where it itches.
                -- A.R. Longworth

I have a switch in my apartment that doesn't do anything.  Every once
in a while I turn it on and off.  On and off.  On and off.  One day I
got a call from a woman in France who said "Cut it out!"
                -- Steven Wright

I have a terrible headache,  I was putting on toilet water and the lid fell.

I have a theory that it's impossible to prove anything,
but I can't prove it.