Freebsd Fortunes 4

I have a switch in my apartment that doesn't do anything.  Every once
in a while I turn it on and off.  On and off.  On and off.  One day I
got a call from a woman in France who said "Cut it out!"
                -- Steven Wright

I have a terrible headache,  I was putting on toilet water and the lid fell.

I have a theory that it's impossible to prove anything,
but I can't prove it.

I have a very small mind and must live with it.
                -- Edsger W. Dijkstra

I have a very strange feeling about this...
                -- Luke Skywalker

"I have accepted Provolone into my life!"
                -- Zippy the Pinhead

I have already given two cousins to the war and I stand ready to
sacrifice my wife's brother.
                -- Artemus Ward

I have always noticed that whenever a radical takes
to Imperialism, he catches it in a very acute form.
                -- Winston Churchill, 1903

I have an existential map.  It has "You are here" written all over it.
                -- Steven Wright

I have become me without my consent.