Freebsd Fortunes 4

I really hate this damned machine
I wish that they would sell it.
It never does quite what I want
But only what I tell it.

I really look with commiseration over the great body of my fellow citizens
who, reading newspapers, live and die in the belief that they have known
something of what has been passing in their time.
                -- H. Truman

I recently moved into a new apartment, and there was this switch on the
wall that didn't do anything... so anytime I had nothing to do, I'd just
flick that switch up and down... up and down... up and down...
Then one day I got a letter from a woman in Germany... it just said
"Cut it out."
                -- Stephen Wright

I recognize terror as the finest emotion and so I will try to terrorize the
reader.  But if I find that I cannot terrify, I will try to horrify, and if
I find that I cannot horrify, I'll go for the gross-out.
                -- Stephen King

I refuse to consign the whole male sex to the nursery.  I insist on
believing that some men are my equals.
                -- Brigid Brophy

I refuse to have a battle of wits with an unarmed person.

I remember once being on a station platform in Cleveland at four in the
morning.  A black porter was carrying my bags, and as we were waiting for
the train to come in, he said to me: "Excuse me, Mr. Cooke, I don't want to
invade your privacy, but I have a bet with a friend of mine.  Who composed
the opening theme music of 'Omnibus'?  My friend said Virgil Thomson."  I
asked him, "What do you say?" He replied, "I say Aaron Copeland." I said,
"You're right."  The porter said,  "I knew Thomson doesn't write counterpoint
that way."  I told that to a network president, and he was deeply unimpressed.
                -- Alistair Cooke

I remember Ulysses well...  Left one day for the post office
to mail a letter, met a blonde named Circe on the streetcar,
and didn't come back for 20 years.

I remember when legal used to mean lawful, now it means some
kind of loophole.
                -- Leo Kessler

I replaced the headlights on my car with strobe lights.  Now it
looks like I'm the only one moving.
                -- Steven Wright