Freebsd Fortunes 4

I suppose some of the variation between Boston drivers and the rest of the
country is due to the progressive Massachusetts Driver Education Manual which
I happen to have in my top desk drawer.  Some of the Tips for Better Driving
are worth considering, to wit:

[173.15b]:
        "When competing for a section of road or a parking space, remember
        that the vehicle in need of the most body work has the right-of-way."

[141.2a]:
       "Although it is altogether possible to fit a 6' car into a 6'
        parking space, it is hardly ever possible to fit a 6' car into
        a 5' parking space."

[105.31]:
       "Teenage drivers believe that they are immortal, and drive accordingly.
        Nevertheless, you should avoid the temptation to prove them wrong."

I suppose that in a few hours I will sober up. That's such a sad
thought. I think I'll have a few more drinks to prepare myself.

"I suppose you expect me to talk."
"No, Mr. Bond.  I expect you to die."
                -- Goldfinger

I tell them to turn to the study of mathematics, for it
is only there that they might escape the lusts of the flesh.
                -- Thomas Mann, "The Magic Mountain"

I tell ya, drugs never worked out for me.  The first time I tried smoking
pot I didn't know what I was doing.  I smoked half the joint, got the
munchies, and ate the other half.

Well, the first time I tried coke I was so embarrassed.  I kept getting the
bottle stuck up my nose.
                -- Rodney Dangerfield

I tell ya, gambling never agreed with me.  Last week I went to the track
and they shot my horse with the opening gun.

Well, just last week I was at a Chinese restaurant and when I opened my
fortune cookie I found the guy's check sitting at the next table.  I said,
"Hey, buddy, I got your check", he said, "Thanks."
                -- Rodney Dangerfield

I tell ya, I knew my morning wasn't going right.   When I put on my shirt
the button fell off, when I picked up my briefcase, the handle fell off,
I tell ya, I was afraid to go to the bathroom.
                -- Rodney Dangerfield

I tell ya, I was an ugly kid.  I was so ugly that my dad
kept the kid's picture that came with the wallet he bought.
                -- Rodney Dangerfield

I think...  I think it's in my basement... Let me go upstairs and check.
                -- Escher

I think a relationship is like a shark.  It has to constantly move forward
or it dies.  Well, what we have on our hands here is a dead shark.
                -- Woody Allen