Freebsd Fortunes 4

I tell them to turn to the study of mathematics, for it
is only there that they might escape the lusts of the flesh.
                -- Thomas Mann, "The Magic Mountain"

I tell ya, drugs never worked out for me.  The first time I tried smoking
pot I didn't know what I was doing.  I smoked half the joint, got the
munchies, and ate the other half.

Well, the first time I tried coke I was so embarrassed.  I kept getting the
bottle stuck up my nose.
                -- Rodney Dangerfield

I tell ya, gambling never agreed with me.  Last week I went to the track
and they shot my horse with the opening gun.

Well, just last week I was at a Chinese restaurant and when I opened my
fortune cookie I found the guy's check sitting at the next table.  I said,
"Hey, buddy, I got your check", he said, "Thanks."
                -- Rodney Dangerfield

I tell ya, I knew my morning wasn't going right.   When I put on my shirt
the button fell off, when I picked up my briefcase, the handle fell off,
I tell ya, I was afraid to go to the bathroom.
                -- Rodney Dangerfield

I tell ya, I was an ugly kid.  I was so ugly that my dad
kept the kid's picture that came with the wallet he bought.
                -- Rodney Dangerfield

I think...  I think it's in my basement... Let me go upstairs and check.
                -- Escher

I think a relationship is like a shark.  It has to constantly move forward
or it dies.  Well, what we have on our hands here is a dead shark.
                -- Woody Allen

I think all right-thinking people in this country are sick and tired of
being told that ordinary, decent people are fed up in this country with being
sick and tired.  I'm certainly not!  But I'm sick and tired of being told
that I am!
                -- Monty Python

"I think he said 'Blessed are the cheesemakers.'"
"Nonsense, he was obviously referring to all manufacturers of dairy products."
                -- The Life of Brian

I think I'll snatch a kiss and flee.
                -- Shakespeare