Freebsd Fortunes 4

I THINK THEY SHOULD CONTINUE the policy of not giving a Nobel Prize for
paneling.
                -- Jack Handley, The New Mexican, 1988.

I think we are in Rats Alley where the dead men lost their bones.
                -- T.S. Eliot

I think we're all Bozos on this bus.
                -- Firesign Theatre

I think we're in trouble.
                -- Han Solo

I think your opinions are reasonable,
except for the one about my mental instability.
                -- Psychology Professor, Farifield University

"I thought that you said you were 20 years old!"
"As a programmer, yes," she replied,
"And you claimed to be very near two meters tall!"
"You said you were blonde, but you lied!"
Oh, she was a hacker and he was one, too,
They had so much in common, you'd say.
They exchanged jokes and poems, and clever new hacks,
And prompts that were cute or risque'.
He sent her a picture of his brother Sam,
She sent one from some past high school day,
And it might have gone on for the rest of their lives,
If they hadn't met in L.A.
"Your beard is an armpit," she said in disgust.
He answered, "Your armpit's a beard!"
And they chorused: "I think I could stand all the rest
If you were not so totally weird!"
If she had not said what he wanted to hear,
And he had not done just the same,
They'd have been far more honest, and never have met,
And would not have had fun with the game.
                -- Judith Schrier, "Face to Face After Six Months of
                Electronic Mail"

I thought there was something fishy about the butler.  Probably a Pisces,
working for scale.
                -- Firesign Theatre, "The Further Adventures of Nick Danger"

I thought YOU silenced the guard!

I told my kids, "Someday, you'll have kids of your own."
One of them said, "So will you."
                -- Rodney Dangerfield

I took a course in speed reading, learning to read straight down the middle
of the page, and I was able to go through "War and Peace" in twenty minutes.
It's about Russia.
                -- Woody Allen