|Freebsd Fortunes 4: 721 of 2327|
I want to kill everyone here with a cute colorful Hydrogen Bomb!!
-- Zippy the Pinhead
|Freebsd Fortunes 4: 722 of 2327|
I want to marry a girl just like the girl that married dear old dad.
|Freebsd Fortunes 4: 723 of 2327|
I want to reach your mind -- where is it currently located?
|Freebsd Fortunes 4: 724 of 2327|
I was appalled by this story of the destruction of a member of a valued
endangered species. It's all very well to celebrate the practicality of
pigs by ennobling the porcine sibling who constructed his home out of
bricks and mortar. But to wantonly destroy a wolf, even one with an
excessive taste for porkers, is unconscionable in these ecologically
critical times when both man and his domestic beasts continue to maraud
Sylvia Kamerman, "Book Reviewing"
|Freebsd Fortunes 4: 725 of 2327|
I was at this restaurant. The sign said "Breakfast Anytime." So I
ordered French Toast in the Renaissance.
-- Steven Wright
|Freebsd Fortunes 4: 726 of 2327|
I was born in a barrel of butcher knives
Trouble I love and peace I despise
Wild horses kicked me in my side
Then a rattlesnake bit me and he walked off and died.
-- Bo Diddley
|Freebsd Fortunes 4: 727 of 2327|
I was eatin' some chop suey,
With a lady in St. Louie,
When there sudden comes a knockin' at the door.
And that knocker, he says, "Honey,
Roll this rocker out some money,
Or your daddy shoots a baddie to the floor."
-- Mr. Miggle
|Freebsd Fortunes 4: 728 of 2327|
I was gratified to be able to answer promptly, and I did.
I said I didn't know.
-- Mark Twain
|Freebsd Fortunes 4: 729 of 2327|
I was in a bar and I walked up to a beautiful woman and said, "Do you live
around here often?" She said, "You're wearing two different-color socks."
I said, "Yes, but to me they're the same because I go by thickness."
She said, "How do you feel?" And I said, "You know when you're sitting on a
chair and you lean back so you're just on two legs and you lean too far so
you almost fall over but at the last second you catch yourself? I feel like
that all the time..."
-- Steven Wright, "Gentlemen's Quarterly"
|Freebsd Fortunes 4: 730 of 2327|
I was in a beauty contest one. I not only came in last, I was hit in
the mouth by Miss Congeniality.
-- Phyllis Diller