Freebsd Fortunes 4

I went to a restaurant that serves "breakfast at any time."
So I ordered French Toast during the Renaissance.
                -- Steven Wright

I went to my first computer conference at the New York Hilton about 20
years ago.  When somebody there predicted the market for microprocessors
would eventually be in the millions, someone else said, "Where are they
all going to go? It's not like you need a computer in every doorknob!"

Years later, I went back to the same hotel.  I noticed the room keys had
been replaced by electronic cards you slide into slots in the doors.

There was a computer in every doorknob.
                -- Danny Hillis

I went to my mother and told her I intended to commence a different life.
I asked for and obtained her blessing and at once commenced the career
of a robber.
                -- Tiburcio Vasquez

I will always love the false image I had of you.

I will follow the good side right to the fire,
but not into it if I can help it.
                -- Michel Eyquem de Montaigne

I will honour Christmas in my heart, and try to keep it all the
year.  I will live in the Past, the Present, and the Future.  The
Spirits of all Three shall strive within me.  I will not shut out
the lessons that they teach.  Oh, tell me that I may sponge away the
writing on this stone!
                -- Charles Dickens

I will make you shorter by the head.
                -- Elizabeth I

I will never lie to you.

I will not be briefed or debriefed, my underwear is my own.

I will not drink!
But if I do...
I will not get drunk!
But if I do...
I will not in public!
But if I do...
I will not fall down!
But if I do...
I will fall face down so that they cannot see my company badge.