Freebsd Fortunes 4

I'D LIKE TO BE BURIED INDIAN-STYLE, where they put you up on a high rack,
above the ground.  That way, you could get hit by meteorites and not even
feel it.
                -- Jack Handley, The New Mexican, 1988.

I'd like to meet the guy who invented beer and see what he's working on now.

I'd like to see the government get out of war altogether and leave the
whole field to private industry.
                -- Joseph Heller

I'd love to kiss you, but I just washed my hair.
                -- Bette Davis, "Cabin in the Cotton"

I'd never cry if I did find
        A blue whale in my soup...
Nor would I mind a porcupine
        Inside a chicken coop.
Yes life is fine when things combine,
        Like ham in beef chow mein...
But lord, this time I think I mind,
        They've put acid in my rain.
                      --- Milo Bloom

I'd never join any club that would have the likes of me as a member.
                -- Groucho Marx

I'd probably settle for a vampire if he were romantic enough.
Couldn't be any worse than some of the relationships I've had.
                -- Brenda Starr

I'd rather be led to hell than managed to heaven.

I'd rather have a free bottle in front of me than a prefrontal lobotomy.
                -- Fred Allen

[Also attributed to S. Clay Wilson.  Ed.]

I'd rather have two girls at 21 each than one girl at 42.
                -- W.C. Fields