Freebsd Fortunes 4

If an S and an I and an O and a U
With an X at the end spell Su;
And an E and a Y and an E spell I,
Pray what is a speller to do?
Then, if also an S and an I and a G
And an HED spell side,
There's nothing much left for a speller to do
But to go commit siouxeyesighed.
                -- Charles Follen Adams, "An Orthographic Lament"

If any demonstrator ever lays down in front of my car, it'll be the last
car he ever lays down in front of.
                -- George Wallace

If any man wishes to be humbled and mortified,
let him become president of Harvard.
                -- Edward Holyoke

If anyone has seen my dog, please contact me at x2883 as soon as possible.
We're offering a substantial reward.  He's a sable collie, with three legs,
blind in his left eye, is missing part of his right ear and the tip of his
tail.  He's been recently fixed.  Answers to "Lucky".

If anything can go wrong, it will.

If at first you do succeed, try to hide your astonishment.

If at first you don't succeed, destroy all evidence that you tried.

If at first you don't succeed, quit; don't be a nut about success.

If at first you don't succeed, redefine success.

If at first you don't succeed, try, try again.
                -- W.E. Hickson