Freebsd Fortunes 4

If any man wishes to be humbled and mortified,
let him become president of Harvard.
                -- Edward Holyoke

If anyone has seen my dog, please contact me at x2883 as soon as possible.
We're offering a substantial reward.  He's a sable collie, with three legs,
blind in his left eye, is missing part of his right ear and the tip of his
tail.  He's been recently fixed.  Answers to "Lucky".

If anything can go wrong, it will.

If at first you do succeed, try to hide your astonishment.

If at first you don't succeed, destroy all evidence that you tried.

If at first you don't succeed, quit; don't be a nut about success.

If at first you don't succeed, redefine success.

If at first you don't succeed, try, try again.
                -- W.E. Hickson

If at first you don't succeed, try try again.  Then quit.
No use being a damn fool about it.

If at first you don't succeed, try, try again.
Then quit. No use being a damn fool about it.
                -- W.C. Fields

[Also attributed to Roy Mengot.  Ed.]