Freebsd Fortunes 4

Hey, Jim, it's me, Susie Lillis from the laundromat.  You said you were
gonna call and it's been two weeks.  What's wrong, you lose my number?

HEY KIDS!  ANN LANDERS SAYS:
        Be sure it's true, when you say "I love you".  It's a sin to
        tell a lie.  Millions of hearts have been broken, just because
        these words were spoken.

"Hey, Sam, how about a loan?"
"Whattaya need?"
"Oh, about $500."
"Whattaya got for collateral?"
"Whattaya need?"
"How about an eye?"
                -- Sam Giancana

Hey, what do you expect from a culture that
*drives* on *parkways* and *parks* on *driveways*?
                -- Gallagher

Hi!  I'm Larry.  This is my brother Bob, and this is my other brother
Jimbo.  We thought you might like to know the names of your assailants.

Hi!  You have reached 962-0129. None of us are here to answer the phone and
the cat doesn't have opposing thumbs, so his messages are illegible.  Please
leave your name and message after the beep...

Hi! How are things going?
        (just fine, thank you...)
Great! Say, could I bother you for a question?
        (you just asked one...)
Well, how about one more?
        (one more than the first one?)
Yes.
        (you already asked that...)
[at this point, Alphonso gets smart...  ]
May I ask two questions, sir?
        (no.)
May I ask ONE then?
        (nope...)
Then may I ask, sir, how I may ask you a question?
        (yes, you may.)
Sir, how may I ask you a question?
        (you must ask for retroactive question asking privileges for
         the number of questions you have asked, then ask for that
         number plus two, one for the current question, and one for the
         next one)
Sir, may I ask nine questions?
        (go right ahead...)

Hi, I'm Preston A. Mantis, president of Consumers Retail Law Outlet.  As
you can see by my suit and the fact that I have all these books of equal
height on the shelves behind me, I am a trained legal attorney.  Do you have
a car or a job?  Do you ever walk around?  If so, you probably have the
makings of an excellent legal case.  Although of course every case is
different, I would definitely say that based on my experience and training,
there's no reason why you shouldn't come out of this thing with at least a
cabin cruiser.

Remember, at the Preston A. Mantis Consumers Retail Law Outlet, our
motto is:  'It is very difficult to disprove certain kinds of pain.'
                -- Dave Barry

Hi Jimbo.  Dennis.  Really appreciate the help on the income tax.
You wanna help on the audit now?

Hi there!  This is just a note from me, to you, to tell you, the person
reading this note, that I can't think up any more famous quotes, jokes,
nor bizarre stories, so you may as well go home.