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HEY KIDS! ANN LANDERS SAYS:
Be sure it's true, when you say "I love you". It's a sin to
tell a lie. Millions of hearts have been broken, just because
these words were spoken.
|Freebsd Fortunes 4: 97 of 2327|
"Hey, Sam, how about a loan?"
"Oh, about $500."
"Whattaya got for collateral?"
"How about an eye?"
-- Sam Giancana
|Freebsd Fortunes 4: 98 of 2327|
Hey, what do you expect from a culture that
*drives* on *parkways* and *parks* on *driveways*?
|Freebsd Fortunes 4: 99 of 2327|
Hi! I'm Larry. This is my brother Bob, and this is my other brother
Jimbo. We thought you might like to know the names of your assailants.
|Freebsd Fortunes 4: 100 of 2327|
Hi! You have reached 962-0129. None of us are here to answer the phone and
the cat doesn't have opposing thumbs, so his messages are illegible. Please
leave your name and message after the beep...
|Freebsd Fortunes 4: 101 of 2327|
Hi! How are things going?
(just fine, thank you...)
Great! Say, could I bother you for a question?
(you just asked one...)
Well, how about one more?
(one more than the first one?)
(you already asked that...)
[at this point, Alphonso gets smart... ]
May I ask two questions, sir?
May I ask ONE then?
Then may I ask, sir, how I may ask you a question?
(yes, you may.)
Sir, how may I ask you a question?
(you must ask for retroactive question asking privileges for
the number of questions you have asked, then ask for that
number plus two, one for the current question, and one for the
Sir, may I ask nine questions?
(go right ahead...)
|Freebsd Fortunes 4: 102 of 2327|
Hi, I'm Preston A. Mantis, president of Consumers Retail Law Outlet. As
you can see by my suit and the fact that I have all these books of equal
height on the shelves behind me, I am a trained legal attorney. Do you have
a car or a job? Do you ever walk around? If so, you probably have the
makings of an excellent legal case. Although of course every case is
different, I would definitely say that based on my experience and training,
there's no reason why you shouldn't come out of this thing with at least a
Remember, at the Preston A. Mantis Consumers Retail Law Outlet, our
motto is: 'It is very difficult to disprove certain kinds of pain.'
-- Dave Barry
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Hi Jimbo. Dennis. Really appreciate the help on the income tax.
You wanna help on the audit now?
|Freebsd Fortunes 4: 104 of 2327|
Hi there! This is just a note from me, to you, to tell you, the person
reading this note, that I can't think up any more famous quotes, jokes,
nor bizarre stories, so you may as well go home.
|Freebsd Fortunes 4: 105 of 2327|
Hickery Dickery Dock,
The mice ran up the clock,
The clock struck one,
The others escaped with minor injuries.