Freebsd Fortunes 4

If Jesus Christ were to come today, people would not even crucify him.
They would ask him to dinner, and hear what he had to say, and make
fun of it.
                -- Thomas Carlyle

If just one piece of mail gets lost, well, they'll just think they forgot to
send it.  But if *two* pieces of mail get lost, hell, they'll just think the
other guy hasn't gotten around to answering his mail.  And if *fifty* pieces
of mail get lost, can you imagine it, if *fifty* pieces of mail get lost, why
they'll think something *else* is broken!  And if 1Gb of mail gets lost,
they'll just *know* that uunet is down and think it's a conspiracy to keep
them from their God given right to receive Net Mail ...
                -- Leith (Casey) Leedom, apologies to Arlo Guthrie

If Karl, instead of writing a lot about Capital,
had made a lot of Capital, it would have been much better.
                -- Karl Marx's Mother

If life gives you lemons, make lemonade.

If life is a stage, I want some better lighting.

If life is merely a joke, the question
still remains: for whose amusement?

If life isn't what you wanted, have you asked for anything else?

If little green men land in your back yard, hide any little green women
you've got in the house.
                -- Mike Harding, "The Armchair Anarchist's Almanac"

If love is the answer, could you rephrase the question?
                -- Lily Tomlin

If Love Were Oil, I'd Be About A Quart Low
                -- Book title by Lewis Grizzard