|Freebsd Fortunes 4: 99 of 2327|
Hi! I'm Larry. This is my brother Bob, and this is my other brother
Jimbo. We thought you might like to know the names of your assailants.
|Freebsd Fortunes 4: 100 of 2327|
Hi! You have reached 962-0129. None of us are here to answer the phone and
the cat doesn't have opposing thumbs, so his messages are illegible. Please
leave your name and message after the beep...
|Freebsd Fortunes 4: 101 of 2327|
Hi! How are things going?
(just fine, thank you...)
Great! Say, could I bother you for a question?
(you just asked one...)
Well, how about one more?
(one more than the first one?)
(you already asked that...)
[at this point, Alphonso gets smart... ]
May I ask two questions, sir?
May I ask ONE then?
Then may I ask, sir, how I may ask you a question?
(yes, you may.)
Sir, how may I ask you a question?
(you must ask for retroactive question asking privileges for
the number of questions you have asked, then ask for that
number plus two, one for the current question, and one for the
Sir, may I ask nine questions?
(go right ahead...)
|Freebsd Fortunes 4: 102 of 2327|
Hi, I'm Preston A. Mantis, president of Consumers Retail Law Outlet. As
you can see by my suit and the fact that I have all these books of equal
height on the shelves behind me, I am a trained legal attorney. Do you have
a car or a job? Do you ever walk around? If so, you probably have the
makings of an excellent legal case. Although of course every case is
different, I would definitely say that based on my experience and training,
there's no reason why you shouldn't come out of this thing with at least a
Remember, at the Preston A. Mantis Consumers Retail Law Outlet, our
motto is: 'It is very difficult to disprove certain kinds of pain.'
-- Dave Barry
|Freebsd Fortunes 4: 103 of 2327|
Hi Jimbo. Dennis. Really appreciate the help on the income tax.
You wanna help on the audit now?
|Freebsd Fortunes 4: 104 of 2327|
Hi there! This is just a note from me, to you, to tell you, the person
reading this note, that I can't think up any more famous quotes, jokes,
nor bizarre stories, so you may as well go home.
|Freebsd Fortunes 4: 105 of 2327|
Hickery Dickery Dock,
The mice ran up the clock,
The clock struck one,
The others escaped with minor injuries.
|Freebsd Fortunes 4: 106 of 2327|
Hideously disfigured by an ancient Indian curse?
WE CAN HELP!
Call (511) 338-0959 for an immediate appointment.
|Freebsd Fortunes 4: 107 of 2327|
Hier liegt ein Mann ganz ohnegleich;
Im Leibe dick, an Suenden reich.
Wir haben ihn in das Grab gesteckt, Here lies a man with sundry flaws
Weil es uns duenkt er sei verreckt. And numerous Sins upon his head;
We buried him today because
As far as we can tell, he's dead.
-- PDQ Bach's epitaph, as requested by his cousin Betty
Sue Bach and written by the local doggeral catcher;
"The Definitive Biography of PDQ Bach", Peter Schickele
|Freebsd Fortunes 4: 108 of 2327|
Hamlet of Elsinore
Ruffled the critics by
Dropping this bomb:
"Phooey on Freud and his
I just loved Mom."