Humor: Best of Fortunes for Sunday October 25, 2015

There once was a man from Nantucket, Whose cock was so long...
There once was a man from Nantucket, Whose cock was so long he could suck it. He said with a grin, As he wiped off his chin, If my ear were a cunt I could fuck it!

There was a young lady of Ealing And her lover before her...
There was a young lady of Ealing And her lover before her was kneeling. Said she, "Dearest Jim, Take your hands off my quim; I much prefer fucking to feeling."

There was a young peasant named Gorse Who fell madly in love...
There was a young peasant named Gorse Who fell madly in love with his horse. Said his wife, "You rapscallion, That horse is a stallion -- This constitutes grounds for divorce."

The common cormorant, or shag, Lays eggs inside a paper...
The common cormorant, or shag, Lays eggs inside a paper bag; The reason, you will see, no doubt, Is to keep the lightning out. But what these unobservant birds Have failed to notice is that herds Of bears may come with buns And steal the bags to hold...