Humor: Best of Fortunes for Tuesday October 20, 2015

There once was a man from Nantucket Who kept all his cash in...
There once was a man from Nantucket Who kept all his cash in a bucket. His daughter, named Nan, Ran away with a man, And as for the bucket, Nantucket. The pair of them went to Manhasset, (Nan and the man with the asset.)...

There was a young curate whose brain Was deranged from the...
There was a young curate whose brain Was deranged from the use of cocaine; He lured a small child To a copse dark and wild, Where he beat it to death with his cane. -- Edward Gorey

Ladies and Gentlemen, Hobos and Tramps, Cross-eyed mosquitos...
Ladies and Gentlemen, Hobos and Tramps, Cross-eyed mosquitos and bowlegged ants, I come before you to stand behind you To tell you of something I know nothing about. Next Thursday (which is good Friday), There will be a convention held in the Women's...