Humor: Best of Fortunes for Thursday October 8, 2015

A door is what a dog is perpetually on the wrong side of...
A door is what a dog is perpetually on the wrong side of. -- Ogden Nash

There once was a man from Madras, Whose balls were made out...
There once was a man from Madras, Whose balls were made out of brass. When they clanged together, They played "Stormy Weather", And lightning shot out of his ass.

There once was a man from Nantucket, Whose cock was so long...
There once was a man from Nantucket, Whose cock was so long he could suck it. He said with a grin, As he wiped off his chin, If my ear were a cunt I could fuck it!

There was a young girl of Asturias With a penchant...
There was a young girl of Asturias With a penchant for practices curious. She loved to bat rocks With her gentlemen's cocks -- A practice both rude and injurious.

There was a young lady named Grace Who would not take a prick...
There was a young lady named Grace Who would not take a prick in her "place." Though she'd kiss it and suck it, She never would fuck it-- She just couldn't relax face-to-face.

A box without hinges, key, or lid, Yet golden treasure inside...
A box without hinges, key, or lid, Yet golden treasure inside is hid. -- J.R.R. Tolkien

Last night I met upon the stair A little man who wasn't...
Last night I met upon the stair A little man who wasn't there. He wasn't there again today. Gee how I wish he'd go away!

Oh give me your pity! I'm on a committee, ...
Oh give me your pity! I'm on a committee, We attend and amend Which means that from morning And contend and defend to night, Without a conclusion in sight. We confer and concur, We defer...