Humor: Best of Fortunes for Wednesday October 28, 2015

SNAPPY REPARTEE: What you'd say if you had another...
SNAPPY REPARTEE: What you'd say if you had another chance.

There once was a chick named Longet, Who went out to Aspen...
There once was a chick named Longet, Who went out to Aspen to play. Along came a Spyder, Who sat down beside her And she blew the poor bastard away.

There once was a man from Madras, Whose balls were made out...
There once was a man from Madras, Whose balls were made out of brass. When they clanged together, They played "Stormy Weather", And lightning shot out of his ass.

There once was a man from Racine, Who invented a screwing...
There once was a man from Racine, Who invented a screwing machine. Both concave and convex, It could please either sex, But, oh, what a bastard to clean!

You can't fix it if it ain't broke.
You can't fix it if it ain't broke.

Computer Science is the only discipline in which we view adding...
Computer Science is the only discipline in which we view adding a new wing to a building as being maintenance -- Jim Horning

You have a tendency to feel you are superior to most computers.
You have a tendency to feel you are superior to most computers.

You know, Callahan's is a peaceable bar, but if you ask that...
You know, Callahan's is a peaceable bar, but if you ask that dog what his favorite formatter is, and he says "roff! roff!", well, I'll just have to...