Humor: Best of Fortunes for Saturday February 21, 2015

There once was a man from Nantucket Who kept all his cash in...
There once was a man from Nantucket Who kept all his cash in a bucket. His daughter, named Nan, Ran away with a man, And as for the bucket, Nantucket. The pair of them went to Manhasset, (Nan and the man with the asset.)...

There once was a man named McGruder, Who canoed with a girl...
There once was a man named McGruder, Who canoed with a girl in Bermuder. But the girl thought it crude, To be wooed in the nude, So McGru took an oar and subduder.

There once was a man named McSweeny Who spilled lots of gin...
There once was a man named McSweeny Who spilled lots of gin on his weeney So just to be couth He added vermouth And slipped his best girl a martini.

Don't read any sky-writing for the next two weeks.
Don't read any sky-writing for the next two weeks.

Don't tell any big lies today. Small ones can be just...
Don't tell any big lies today. Small ones can be just as effective.

It's a very *UN*lucky week in which to be took dead...
It's a very *UN*lucky week in which to be took dead. -- Churchy La Femme

You prefer the company of the opposite sex, but are well liked...
You prefer the company of the opposite sex, but are well liked by your own.

A day without sunshine is like a day without Anita Bryant.
A day without sunshine is like a day without Anita Bryant.