Humor: Best of Fortunes for Saturday February 28, 2015

Help! I'm trapped in a PDP 11/70!
Help! I'm trapped in a PDP 11/70!

There once was a man from Nantucket Whose dick was so long...
There once was a man from Nantucket Whose dick was so long he could suck it. He said with a grin As he wiped off his chin, "If my ear was a cunt, I could fuck it."

There once was a man named McSweeny Who spilled lots of gin...
There once was a man named McSweeny Who spilled lots of gin on his weeney So just to be couth He added vermouth And slipped his best girl a martini.

There was once a mechanic named Bench Whose best tool was...
There was once a mechanic named Bench Whose best tool was a sturdy gut-wrench. With this vibrant device He could reach, in a trice, The innermost parts of a wench.

I hope the ``Eurythmics'' practice birth control ...
I hope the ``Eurythmics'' practice birth control ...