Humor: Best of Fortunes for Sunday July 12, 2015

There was a young man from Bear Ridge Who had strange ideas...
There was a young man from Bear Ridge Who had strange ideas about marriage. He fucked his wife's mother And sucked off her brother And ate up her sister's miscarriage.

There's an unbroken babe from Toronto, Exceedingly hard to...
There's an unbroken babe from Toronto, Exceedingly hard to get onto, But when you get there, And have parted the hair, You can fuck her as much as you want to.

I saw Lassie. It took me four shows to figure out why...
I saw Lassie. It took me four shows to figure out why the hairy kid never spoke. I mean, he could roll over and all that, but did that deserve a series?

I used to be disgusted, now I find I'm just amused...
I used to be disgusted, now I find I'm just amused. -- Elvis Costello

I was working on a case. It had to be a case, because...
I was working on a case. It had to be a case, because I couldn't afford a desk. Then I saw her. This tall blond lady. She must have been tall because I was on the third floor. She rolled her deep blue eyes towards me. I picked them up and rolled...

Probable-Possible, my black hen, She lays eggs in the Relative...
Probable-Possible, my black hen, She lays eggs in the Relative When. She doesn't lay eggs in the Positive Now Because she's unable to postulate How. -- Frederick Winsor

He who has but four and spends five has no need for a wallet.
He who has but four and spends five has no need for a wallet.